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Interview with Roy on Sensuali.com

I was recently interviewed by Sensuali.com about my practice and my experience and beliefs around relationships. The interview in full is available on Sensuali.com. It is a community and resources for sex positive, shame-free support and services. They believe sexuality should be explored without shame or restrictions. Sensuali gives you the power to offer or …

Roy on the Metro Smutdrop podcast (13 Sep)

(publish date: 13 September 2023) A pleasant and probing conversation with Miri. I think she asked good questions and got quite deep. My part starts at 5 minutes in. Episode 78 “We’re scribbling notes quickly because we have a relationship coach and counsellor on Smut Drop this week. Roy Graff offers counselling under the Psychosynthesis modality and …

The emotional and sexual connection spectra

The notion that people should just accept the socially normalised, traditional and restrictive way of relating and connecting romantically / sexually seems to me absurd. Just as absurd as it now is to expect everyone to be straight, just because this is how the majority identify, or to insist that people born left-handed must only …

How deep can you go when you have multiple partners?

A common argument from people sceptical of polyamory as a viable relating dynamic, is that it doesn’t go deep enough because you don’t get to spend all your time together like you would in monogamy. Being drawn to each other in monogamy often leads to spending as much time as you can together, building intimacy …

Love means focusing on what matters

Love means focusing on what really matters

If I’m dating someone who’s also seeing other people and exploring more romantic relationships, I might be concerned that they won’t give me enough attention or that others will get more of them than I will. This can feel scary, like I’m not important enough to be prioritised. Our socialised expectations are for our partner …

Random thoughts about relationships

The rise of fascism, families and relationships The rise of fascistic policies and leaders around the world (thinking of traditionally Western democratic countries like US, Italy, Sweden, Israel) is, I believe, a direct result of patterns of dictatorship and fascism being normalised in family life. When children are raised in families that do not give …

Audio: Roy appearing on the Open Late podcast with Jessica Esfandiary

(publish date: 15 March 2023) Speaking with Jessica about my journey as a latecomer to polyamory and going into the weeds of solo-polyamory. EPSIODE 84 “It’s important for people to start feeling comfortable feeling uncomfortable.” Jess interviews Roy Graff, a Relationship coach and Therapist from London who is also practicing Solo-polyamory. In this episode Roy …

10 Tips for Maintaining a Healthy & Loving Relationship

1) Communicate openly and honestly with your partner 2) Practice active listening and try to understand your partner’s perspective 3) Show appreciation and gratitude towards your partner 4) Make time for eachother and prioritize your relationship 5) Practice forgiveness and work through conflicts and misunderstandings 6) Respect each other’s boundaries and needs 7) Nurture your …

Is Polyamory an Orientation or an Adaptation?

Polyamory as a call to Self The exploration of alternative relationship dynamics beyond Monogamy has increased dramatically in Western societies in recent years. While Monogamy has been the default and traditional way of relating for romance and sex in modern history, there have throughout history, been people who challenged the norm and human evolution contains …