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Video: on the @nonconventional podcast – 20 June

This is a 27 minute long podcast interview with Ela from @nonconventional. Navigating the complexities of polyamorous relationships, Roy Graff shares his journey from monogamy to polyamory, shedding light on the emotional dynamics and the importance of communication. With a candid discussion on managing multiple partners and the misconceptions around polyamory, this video explores how …

Polyamory can never work because…

What follows are statements I’ve personally heard from people who have had something they really wanted to say about polyamory, even if they had never tried it or had wanted to. These criticisms mainly serve to show up a personal bias, ignorance or perhaps unresolved trauma. – “it’s just lack of commitment” Do all monogamous …

Is Hierarchy good or bad?

Inter-relationship power dynamics in multigamy

Is hierarchy good or bad? This question was inspired by one of my partners who saw an Instagram post portraying hierarchy in polyamory as something that is always inherently unethical, and rooted in colonialism. ​The account in question​ (@decolonizing.love) is dedicated to giving voice to marginalised communities within polyamory and in a broader sense, and …

What to think about when opening up a monogamous relationship

As a relationship coach, I regularly work with couples who come to me at various stages of their journey into multigamy* (non-monogamy) with challenges, seemingly impossible conflicts, resentment and triggered fears. It is rare to meet a couple that book to work with me immediately a the start of their opening-up exploration, but it does …

Interview with Roy on Sensuali.com

I was recently interviewed by Sensuali.com about my practice and my experience and beliefs around relationships. The interview in full is available on Sensuali.com. It is a community and resources for sex positive, shame-free support and services. They believe sexuality should be explored without shame or restrictions. Sensuali gives you the power to offer or …

Roy on the Metro Smutdrop podcast (13 Sep)

(publish date: 13 September 2023) A pleasant and probing conversation with Miri. I think she asked good questions and got quite deep. My part starts at 5 minutes in. Episode 78 “We’re scribbling notes quickly because we have a relationship coach and counsellor on Smut Drop this week. Roy Graff offers counselling under the Psychosynthesis modality and …

The emotional and sexual connection spectra

The notion that people should just accept the socially normalised, traditional and restrictive way of relating and connecting romantically / sexually seems to me absurd. Just as absurd as it now is to expect everyone to be straight, just because this is how the majority identify, or to insist that people born left-handed must only …