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Seeking Balance

What does it mean ‘to seek balance’?

In the default, mono-normative relationship model, wanting a balanced relationship means both partners put in the effort and enjoy the rewards of the relationship equally. Clearly, balance is not inherent to relationships and is not always desirable to either partner. So long as there is a clear, consensual agreement between all parties, it is generally …

The OPP Rule

The OPP rule

Or to make it gender-neutral, the O.G.P rule (one genital policy) To the uninitiated, here is what it means: A one penis/vagina policy refers to when a one or both people in a couple insist on an agreement that limits their partner in who they could have sex with. In heterosexual couples, it means my …

Why did I choose solo-polyamory for myself?

What is solo-polyamory? A custom designed relationship dynamic that centres my relationship with myself. I am making a conscious decision not to seek out or work towards having a primary and/or nesting partner. Each person may practice solo-polyamory differently and the only constant is that you have a primary relationship with self. Materially, I am …

What does my ‘safe space’ represent?

What are we actually after when we define our room/house as a ‘safe space’ boundary? Safe spaces are a hot topic with multigamous/polyamorous people, especially when it is a couple that opened up their relationship. “My room is my sanctuary” “I don’t want a stranger in my bed” “We have kids so no outside partners …

Boundaries

Why are boundaries so difficult to figure out?

In Polyamory, I talk about doing the work to own my emotions, self-regulate and find safety. I look to find security and happiness in myself first. I examine to what degrees I can meet my own needs, before looking to others to meet them. From this mindset, a boundary means to me something I create …

What is Couple’s Privilege?

How will society accept the philosophy behind polyamory, so long as couple’s privilege persists? What is it?Couple’s privilege is the largely unchallenged mainstream acceptance, of the inherent importance and supremacy of a dyad relationship (mostly exclusive and primarily between a woman and a man).Couple’s privilege is introduced to us throughout our lives from birth, through …

How can I self-regulate when my partner is on a date?

If you struggle emotionally when your partner is out on a date, here are some practical tips for self regulating when jealous feelings come up. This was a great topic of discussion in the recent Open Relating Coaching Club so I thought I will collect what we talked about and turn it into a short …

Video/Audio: Roy and Leanne @polyphiliablog deep dive

I sat down for an hour long conversation with Leanne, a social media content creator who is an advocate for Polyamory on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. Subscribe to the entire podcast series of 14 episodes here. Polyamory challenges traditional love and many societal norms, but one aspect that is not often talked about is …