Expansive Relationships with an Abundance Mindset
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What follows are statements I’ve personally heard from people who have had something they really wanted to say about polyamory, even if they had never tried it or had wanted to. These criticisms mainly serve to show up a personal bias, ignorance or perhaps unresolved trauma. – “it’s just lack of commitment” Do all monogamous …
My IG Live with @decolonizing.love, talking about commitment, attachment, hierarchy, couple’s privilege and masculinity in polyamory. We covered so much. Starts at the 2-minute mark. View this post on Instagram A post shared by Open Relating, expansive relationships coach (@openrelating)
Sometimes, a suitable analogy helps imagine something better than any direct explanation. If you can imagine it, it is also possible to get there. Picture yourself on a ship floating in the ocean. It is dark and you don’t know where you are. It’s the middle of the night. Suddenly a large powerful wave hits …
Is hierarchy good or bad? This question was inspired by one of my partners who saw an Instagram post portraying hierarchy in polyamory as something that is always inherently unethical, and rooted in colonialism. The account in question (@decolonizing.love) is dedicated to giving voice to marginalised communities within polyamory and in a broader sense, and …
As a relationship coach, I regularly work with couples who come to me at various stages of their journey into multigamy* (non-monogamy) with challenges, seemingly impossible conflicts, resentment and triggered fears. It is rare to meet a couple that book to work with me immediately a the start of their opening-up exploration, but it does …
I was recently interviewed by Sensuali.com about my practice and my experience and beliefs around relationships. The interview in full is available on Sensuali.com. It is a community and resources for sex positive, shame-free support and services. They believe sexuality should be explored without shame or restrictions. Sensuali gives you the power to offer or …
The journey I embarked on included learning that my value doesn’t come from how desirable I am or how desired I can make my partner feel at all times. From the time I felt I was an adult, I have tried to be conscious about the work I needed to do on myself in order …
The notion that people should just accept the socially normalised, traditional and restrictive way of relating and connecting romantically / sexually seems to me absurd. Just as absurd as it now is to expect everyone to be straight, just because this is how the majority identify, or to insist that people born left-handed must only …
A common argument from people sceptical of polyamory as a viable relating dynamic, is that it doesn’t go deep enough because you don’t get to spend all your time together like you would in monogamy. Being drawn to each other in monogamy often leads to spending as much time as you can together, building intimacy …
If I’m dating someone who’s also seeing other people and exploring more romantic relationships, I might be concerned that they won’t give me enough attention or that others will get more of them than I will. This can feel scary, like I’m not important enough to be prioritised. Our socialised expectations are for our partner …