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Speaking at Evolve Fest, December 3-7

I am so excited to be presenting at EVOLVE FEST, a 5-day GLOBAL online journey of love, transformation and togetherness! You can catch me delivering: From scarcity to abundance, a relationship mindset 7 Dec, 2021 Click here to book and quote code ROY25 for your discounted ticket. For one incredibly low ticket price you will …

The Capitalist model of Romance

…the capitalist urge to get you to think of romance in terms of capital investment, finite resources and ‘growth’. Capitalism is defined by its reliance on the private sector to deliver what the market needs, urged by the profit motive. In theoretical, pure capitalism, the ‘invisible hand’ directs market actors to invest as needed in …

From scarcity to abundance

I believe that much of the problems and drama in relationships comes from an unconscious approach, that looks at love, sex, intimacy, touch, and attention as scarce resources that adult humans must compete for. What is a scarcity mindset? A long time ago, I used to have a strong fear of ending up old and …

What would a non-mononormative world look like?

I wanted to run a thought experiment: what would society look like if there was a complete paradigm shift, where monogamy was not the default option but instead, people would consider all relationship dynamics and choose the one right for them? Imagine that there wasn’t any focus on the 2-person dyad model of relationship ideal. …

Unicorns and Dragons

What is a Unicorn or Dragon? Why is it controversial?

Something that comes up loads in polyamory discussion threads, is the concept of the ‘Unicorn/Dragon’. It is a hot topic that carries strong opinions and often draws the ire of many polyamorous communities.For newbies, most often, a ‘unicorn’ is thought of as a bisexual woman who joins an established heterosexual couple and is equally into …

Noticing red flags in alternative relationships

A red flag means the alert that goes off, when you notice someone is behaving in a way that raises questions about how they might behave in a relationship with you, or saying things that raise suspicion of later toxic behaviour. Most red flags are common to all relationship types and dynamics, be it monogamy …

Our body’s trauma response to jealousy

Oftentimes when jealousy kicks in, we are in a “fight or flight” mode of survival response. Our nervous system perceives a threat and wants to defend. In this article, I look at some techniques for centering and grounding yourself so that you can be get to a more empowered stance for healing.  Our nervous system …

The place between Love and Fear

How can we understand, unpack and process the emotions that we think of as jealousy? This article focuses on jealousy experienced as strong emotions and feelings. Click here to read about how our minds and thoughts influence our experience of jealousy. Our emotional response can be about socialised expectations but that does not mean that …