Roy Graff

Relationship Coach & Therapist

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What is Open Relating?

Open Relating means creating and maintaining conscious, connected, autonomous, expansive relationships, regardless of how many people are involved and what consensual agreements are made. Doing so requires an honest unflinching look at our own vulnerabilities, fears, needs, wants and desires. This applies to monogamy, multigamy and the entire spectrum inbetween.

I'm a relationship coach and psychotherapeutic counsellor. I offer support and guidance to individuals and partnered people. I use a variety of methodologies from my training along with extensive lived experience as a multilingual and multicultural global citizen.

I offer coaching and counselling following the Psychosynthesis modality, and am accredited by BACP. My support is based on lived experience, a great deal of self-experimentation, exploration, a range of educational courses and over a decade of running workshops and facilitating groups. I have further training in Trauma informed therapy, Radical Honesty, Non-violent Communication and Wheel of Consent.

To make the most of this website, use the navigation bar to browse the free resources, book a session with me, watch one of my pre-recorded workshops or join an upcoming event. The resources section has a wealth of free content for education and insights, including an exhaustive glossary, free podcasts and videos and an archive of articles about relationships.

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Coaching

Relationship success varies, depending on who you are, what beliefs you have and how much autonomy you need. The relationship escalator may work for some, but for many, it doesn't. I am interested in you, and what is the best outcome for you. My coaching is for individuals and partnered people.

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Therapy

I am a qualified and accredited psychotherapeutic counsellor, trained with the Institute of Psychosynthesis and hold an MA in Psychosynthesis Psychology. Therapy is helpful for working with persistent issues of self-esteem, insecurity, depression or motivation. If you are struggling emotionally, and are looking for an open minded, understanding and trauma-informed counsellor, I'm here for you.

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Workshops and Talks

You can join the next workshop or watch pre-recorded talks about relationship dynamics, jealousy, compersion and related topics.
More videos are added on a regular basis.
Some are available for a small price, while many are free.

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Latest articles

Speaking at Expose, December 3-7

I am really excited to be presenting at Expose 2026. A recording of all sessions will be available after the live event. Challenging relationships norms with polyamory and relationship anarchy 6 December, 2025 Click here to book for free! A healthy, fulfilling sex life brings joy, happiness and connection. EXPOSE will offer over 30 sexuality …

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Audio: Roy on the Modern Anarchy podcast with Dr. Nicole Thompson

Podcast release date 5 November 2025 Listen on the Modern Anarchy website On today’s episode, we have Roy Graff (he/him) join us for a conversation all about finding pleasure in expansive relating. Together we talk about the generations of lost orgasms, our unconscious cultural conditioning, and stepping into more touch support. 🧡 If you enjoyed …

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Solo-Polyamory Day 2025

What is solo-polyamory? It is a custom-designed relationship dynamic that centres my relationship with myself. I am making a conscious decision not to seek out or work towards having a primary and/or nesting partner. Each person may practice solo-polyamory differently and the only constant is that you have a primary relationship with self. Materially, I …

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