About

Open Relating is not a relationship practice. It is my view of the world and all human relationships.

I offer coaching to individuals, couples and polycules. I can help with relationship issues, honesty and authenticity in relating, life transformation and major life crises.

My support is offered as a mentor, consultant and coach. I use a variety of methodologies I am trained in, along with my extensive lived experience, to best support you with your journey.

I offer coaching and counselling following the Psychosynthesis modality, currently under supervision. I am a trainee therapist (in Psychosynthesis psychotherapy training) working with a supervisor. My support to you is based on lived experience, a great deal of self-experimentation, exploration, a range of educational courses and 7+ years of running workshops and facilitating groups.

In 2021 I launched a course on creating an abundance mindset, that helps people challenge their preconceptions and inherited beliefs, to build authentic relationships.

My recorded workshops and webinars are available for free or a small fee.

I have lived adventurously and curiously and had a varied career in business development and marketing for over 20 years, living on different continents and collecting many life experiences. Over this time, I’ve lived in Europe, the Middle East, North America and Asia.

My first 20 years adulting were unconsciously monogamous by default. I was in several long term relationships including being married and becoming a father. Briefly (and ignorantly) I’ve experimented with an open marriage and long distance non-monogamy, which unsurprisingly, considering my lack of experience and knowledge, didn’t work out. 

A personal and financial crisis in 2010, forced me to completely re-evaluate my life and values, go through therapy and dig deep inside for self–awareness and self-love. 

I was introduced to non-monogamy in 2014, and have identified as polyamorous since, experiencing a wide variety of relationship dynamics in the spectra of multigamy. Assimilating knowledge from diverse sources and making many of my own mistakes, I’ve learnt a great deal over the past 10 years. 

Since 2014 I’ve been giving talks, facilitating discussions and holding workshops about non-monogamy, sex positivity, consent and kink to audiences of up to 300 people. In the aftermath of the Covid-19 pandemic, these experiences led me to train in psychotherapy following the Psychosynthesis modality.  

I draw on my training modality, Radical Honesty, Non-violent Communication and Wheel of Consent training.  I offer coaching and mentoring to individuals, couples and polycules. I can help you with relationship issues, honesty and authenticity in relating, life transformation and major life crises. 

Why is polyamory the right emotional connection type for me personally? 

In monogamy, I felt restricted (not through the fault of my partners, we didn’t even know of the option). I now know that when I feel free, I am the best version of myself and my partners also benefit from that.

The increasing complexity of human life means that expanding the options for human connection and intimacy can be seen as part of social evolution. In Western culture, at least, people have created a society that values individualism, and pushes us to seek happiness as an ideal.

What Multigamy brings is a path to more intimate social connections that combines our individual needs with stronger social ties to community. Having the choice to explore deeper connections with more people can be seen as an evolutionary force.

This is not a suggestion that there is anything wrong with choosing monogamy. I support all and any consensual relationship dynamics and structures that bring enrichment and purpose to the individuals involved. The basic toolkit you need for healthy, intimate, autonomous and boundaried relationship is always the same

I run a London-based non-monogamous men’s support group and moderate several Facebook groups related to sex positivity and polyamory.

This song really resonates with me, I invite you to listen to the lyrics and enjoy.

My focus is on open, conscious communication and empowering people to build autonomous, connected, interdependent relationships. Book a free appointment with me today.

Read my latest blog articles

• Advice to monogamous couples
  I asked ChatGPT4 to list 10 tips for monogamous couples, based on the content of my Twitter feed @openrelating. Here is what it came up with, I don’t hate it but it’s also just basic common sense advice for all relationships and really shows how monoamorous and polyamorous people’s healthy relationships are not that different.
• Random thoughts about relationships
  The rise of fascism, families and relationships The rise of fascistic policies and leaders around the world (thinking of traditionally Western democratic countries like US, Italy, Sweden, Israel) is, I believe, a direct result of patterns of dictatorship and fascism being normalised in family life. When children are raised in families that do not give …
• Audio: Roy appearing on the Open Late podcast with Jessica Esfandiary
  (publish date: 15 March 2023) Speaking with Jessica about my journey as a latecomer to polyamory and going into the weeds of solo-polyamory. EPSIODE 84 “It’s important for people to start feeling comfortable feeling uncomfortable.” Jess interviews Roy Graff, a Relationship coach and Therapist from London who is also practicing Solo-polyamory. In this episode Roy …
• 10 Tips for Maintaining a Healthy & Loving Relationship
  1) Communicate openly and honestly with your partner 2) Practice active listening and try to understand your partner’s perspective 3) Show appreciation and gratitude towards your partner 4) Make time for eachother and prioritize your relationship 5) Practice forgiveness and work through conflicts and misunderstandings 6) Respect each other’s boundaries and needs 7) Nurture your …
• Is Polyamory an Orientation or an Adaptation?
  Polyamory as a call to Self The exploration of alternative relationship dynamics beyond Monogamy has increased dramatically in Western societies in recent years. While Monogamy has been the default and traditional way of relating for romance and sex in modern history, there have throughout history, been people who challenged the norm and human evolution contains …