My name is Roy Graff. Open Relating began in 2020.

I offer coaching and mentoring to individuals, couples and polycules. I can help with relationship issues, honesty and authenticity in relating, life transformation and major life crises.

My support is offered as a mentor, consultant and coach. I use a variety of methodologies, along with my life experience, to best support you with your journey.

I am not a qualified therapist (am currently in psychotherapy training). My support to you is based on lived experience, a great deal of self experimentation, exploration, a range of relevant educational courses and 7+ years of running workshops and facilitating sharing groups.

In 2021 I launched a course for autonomous, conscious and connected relationships that helps people develop an abundance mindset and build authentic relationships. Several of my  recorded workshops and webinars are available for free or to for a small fee, on this site.

I have had a varied career in business development and marketing for 20+ years, living on different continents and collecting many life experiences. I have lived in Europe, Middle East, America and Asia.

My first 20 years adulting were unconsciously monogamous, by default. I was in several long term relationships including a marriage, and also became a father.

I briefly (and rather ignorantly) experimented with an open marriage and long distance non-monogamy, which unsurprisingly, considering my lack of experience and knowledge, didn’t work out. 

Then a personal and financial crisis in 2010, forced me to completely re-evaluate my life and values, go through therapy and dig deep inside for self-awareness and self-love. 

I was introduced to consensual non-monogamy in 2011, and have identified as polyamorous since, experiencing a wide variety of relationship dynamics in the spectra of multigamy. I have assimilated knowledge from diverse sources and, most importantly, have made my own mistakes, and learnt a great deal from them. 

In the aftermath of the Covid-19 pandemic, these experiences led me to train in psychotherapy following the Psychosynthesis modality, and formalise what had been a hobby since 2014. I’ve been giving talks, facilitating discussions and holding workshops about non-monogamy, sex positivity, consent and kink to audiences of up to 300 people. 

I draw on my training modality, Radical Honesty, Non-violent Communication as well as Burning Man values.  I offer coaching and mentoring to individuals, couples and polycules. I can help you with relationship issues, honesty and authenticity in relating, life transformation and major life crises. 

I run a London-based non-monogamous men’s support group and moderate several Facebook groups related to sex positivity and polyamory.

My focus is on open, conscious communication and empowering people to build autonomous, connected, interdependent relationships. Book a free appointment with me today.

Read my latest blog articles

  • Video: Roy returning to the Practicing Polyamory podcast (6 October 2021)
    Solo-polymory, non-hierarchical polyamory or just dating around… What’s the difference? I return to the Practicing Polyamory podcast, available on Youtube and as an audio download. I will talk about my own solo-polyamory relationship dynamic and how it is often gets confused with non-hierarchical polyamory as well as ‘dating around’, ‘playing the field’, or not wanting …
  • “I don’t want to share you”
    When your partner says they want to open up the relationship to date other people, and your response is ‘I can’t share you’, what’s really going on? It might sound strange to hear, when your feelings are so strongly indicating that this suggestion from your partner means you have to ‘share’ them, but – Sharing …
  • Audio: Interview with Roy on Radio WRUU Savannah
    (original broadcast 21 Sep. 21) This radio station reached out to me to ask questions about polyamory and non-monogamy. The questions are intended to introduce the concept to people who may not know much about these topics, and accordingly, I try to give a broad definition as well as talking about my personal lived experience. …
  • The Open Relating Coaching Club
    I have been coaching individuals and groups since October, 2020 and running workshops on relationships, polyamory, concent, conscious relating etc. since 2005. Due to the pandemic, everything has moved online since 2020 and looks like it has become our default way to consumer coaching, therapy and workshops these days. In-person interaction is something I personally …
  • Video: Is polyamory or multigamy right for me?
    5 September 2021 – Online Q&A with Roy Polyamory and other forms of multigamy (non-monogamy) have been getting a lot of exposure in recent years. They appear in mainstream TV shows and media articles in increasing frequency. This can be confusing for people who have only known monogamy as the default way of having a …