Open Relating

Why Open Relating?

Being raised on a diet of monogamous romantic fantasies, most people develop a mythological sense of what healthy relationships look like. Once we recognise love as separate from 'meeting needs', we are on our path to a better way of loving ourselves and others. We can design our relationships in any way that makes sense to us and our partners.

If what society says we should be doing feels unnatural, then do it differently. Nothing is 'default' or 'natural', except what feels natural to us. When there is an internal struggle, it is often because we inherit a set of values and expectations from our community, family and tribe that are at odds with what we feel inside.

Open Relating is about creating and maintaining conscious, connected and autonomous, expsnasive relationships, regardless of their dynamic and how many people are involved. Doing so requires first an honest unflinching look at our own vulnerabilities, fears, needs, wants and desires.

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Advice to monogamous couples

I asked ChatGPT4 to list 10 tips for monogamous couples, based on the content of my Twitter feed @openrelating. Here is what it came up with, I don’t hate it but it’s also just basic common sense advice for all relationships and really shows how monoamorous and polyamorous people’s healthy relationships are not that different.

Random thoughts about relationships

The rise of fascism, families and relationships The rise of fascistic policies and leaders around the world (thinking of traditionally Western democratic countries like US, Italy, Sweden, Israel) is, I believe, a direct result of patterns of dictatorship and fascism being normalised in family life. When children are raised in families that do not give …

Audio: Roy appearing on the Open Late podcast with Jessica Esfandiary

(publish date: 15 March 2023) Speaking with Jessica about my journey as a latecomer to polyamory and going into the weeds of solo-polyamory. EPSIODE 84 “It’s important for people to start feeling comfortable feeling uncomfortable.” Jess interviews Roy Graff, a Relationship coach and Therapist from London who is also practicing Solo-polyamory. In this episode Roy …

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