Open Relating

Supporting autonomous, conscious and connected relationships for everyone

Learn about the 5 week REALationships course

Why Open Relating?

With every one of my relationships, I want to ask:

Is my autonomy preserved?

Am I consciously present?

Do I feel connected?

My name is Roy and this is my passion project. Being raised on a diet of monogamous romantic fantasies, most people develop a mythological sense of what healthy relationships look like. Once we recognise love as separate from 'meeting needs', we are on our path to a better way of loving ourselves and others. We can design our relationships in any way that makes sense to us and our partners.

If what society says we should be doing feels unnatural, then do it differently. Nothing is 'default' or 'natural', except what feels natural to us. When there is an internal struggle, it is often because we inherit a set of values and expectations from our community, family and tribe that are at odds with what we feel inside.

I offer coaching and mentoring to individuals and couples+, education and support in the field of conscious relationships, openness and intimacy. While I am happily polyamorous and in multiple relationships, I believe that we each have a relationship dynamic that fits us. I can support you in figuring it out.

Since 2014, I’ve been giving talks, facilitating discussions and holding workshops about non-monogamy, sex positivity, consent and kink to audiences of up to 300 people.

Open Relating is about creating and maintaining conscious, connected and autonomous relationships, regardless of their dynamic and how many people are involved. Doing so requires first an honest unflinching look at our own vulnerabilities, fears, needs, wants and desires.

Click to read Roy's Bio...


Relationship success looks different depending on who you are, what beliefs you have and how much autonomy you need. Together for ever after isn't always the best outcome. Moving in together isn't always the best outcome. Relationship success is personal and varied.


Why is jealousy actually important to feel, express and inquire?

Because jealousy is a spotlight on your insecurities and fear, and learning more about why they float up, will guide you in healing and being more secure, and more in self-love.


Polyamory isn't more evolved than monogamy.

But if Polyamory is the right fit for you, then it is personally more evolved because it helps you be more authentic.

How I can help you

You can schedule a free no-strings session with me to figure this out. My REALationships course has a new class starting every few months. My coaching and mentoring sessions are available to individuals, couples and polycules. I also run regular online workshops and webinars with other great speakers. My blog offers free educational content on conscious relating, polyamory and communications. If you find it helpful, please consider supporting the work with a small contribution.

REALationship Course

Join a small group for 5 weekly workshops to:
Discover your values and needs; Learn valuable tools to protect and communicate boundaries; Unlearn the myths that limit your relationship potential; Manage difficult emotions like jealousy and envy; Expand your emotional vocabulary

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Coaching Sessions

Keeping your individual identity and autonomy is important for healthy and sustainable relationships. Start by booking a free 20 minute consultation. I can help you figure out polyamory, manage jealousy, create healthy boundaries and communicate better with your partner/s.

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Workshops and videos

Signup to the next live workshops, or check out some pre-recorded webinars about polyamory, multigamy, jealousy, compersion and related topics.
You can purchase them for streaming or download.
More videos are added in the Webinars page.

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Latest articles

What would a non-mononormative world look like?

I wanted to run a thought experiment: what would society look like if there was a complete paradigm shift, where monogamy was not the default option but instead, people would consider all relationship dynamics and choose the one right for them? Imagine that there wasn’t any focus on the 2-person dyad model of relationship ideal. …

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Unicorns and Dragons

What is a Unicorn or Dragon? Why is it controversial?

Something that comes up loads in polyamory discussion threads, is the concept of the ‘Unicorn/Dragon’. It is a hot topic that carries strong opinions and often draws the ire of many polyamorous communities.For newbies, most often, a ‘unicorn’ is thought of as a bisexual woman who joins an established heterosexual couple and is equally into …

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Noticing red flags in alternative relationships

A red flag means the alert that goes off, when you notice someone is behaving in a way that raises questions about how they might behave in a relationship with you, or saying things that raise suspicion of later toxic behaviour. Most red flags are common to all relationship types and dynamics, be it monogamy …

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