Open Relating

What is Open Relating?

Being raised in a culture dominated by monogamous romantic ideals, most people develop an almost mythological idea of what relationships 'should' look like.

Love means being invested in another's spiritual growth. Once we recognise love as separate from meeting needs we are on our path to a better way of loving ourselves and others. We can design our relationships in any way that makes sense to us and our partners.

If what society says we should be doing feels unnatural, we can do it differently so it feels more authentic. Nothing is 'default' or 'natural', except what feels right to us.

Open Relating means creating and maintaining conscious, connected, autonomous, expansive relationships, regardless of how many people are involved and what agreements you make.

Doing so requires first an honest unflinching look at our own vulnerabilities, fears, needs, wants and desires.

I want to learn more

Roy on the Metro Smutdrop podcast (13 Sep)

(publish date: 13 September 2023) A pleasant and probing conversation with Miri. I think she asked good questions and got quite deep. My part starts at 5 minutes in. Episode 78 “We’re scribbling notes quickly because we have a relationship coach and counsellor on Smut Drop this week. Roy Graff offers counselling under the Psychosynthesis modality and …

Where does my value come from?

The journey I embarked on included learning that my value doesn’t come from how desirable I am or how desired I can make my partner feel at all times. From the time I felt I was an adult, I have tried to be conscious about the work I needed to do on myself in order …

The emotional and sexual connection spectra

The notion that people should just accept the socially normalised, traditional and restrictive way of relating and connecting romantically / sexually seems to me absurd. Just as absurd as it now is to expect everyone to be straight, just because this is how the majority identify, or to insist that people born left-handed must only …

See More Posts