Roy Graff

Relationship Coach

Helping You Create Expansive Relationships

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Why Open Relating?

Being raised on a diet of monogamous romantic fantasies, most people develop a mythological sense of what healthy relationships look like. Once we recognise love as separate from 'meeting needs', we are on our path to a better way of loving ourselves and others. We can design our relationships in any way that makes sense to us and our partners.

If what society says we should be doing feels unnatural, then do it differently. Nothing is 'default' or 'natural', except what feels natural to us. When there is an internal struggle, it is often because we inherit a set of values and expectations from our community, family and tribe that are at odds with what we feel inside.

Open Relating is about creating and maintaining conscious, connected and autonomous, expsnasive relationships, regardless of their dynamic and how many people are involved. Doing so requires first an honest unflinching look at our own vulnerabilities, fears, needs, wants and desires.

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Relationship Coaching

Relationship success looks different depending on who you are, what beliefs you have and how much autonomy you need. Together for ever after isn't always the best outcome. Moving in together isn't always the best outcome. Relationship success is personal and varied. I work with individuals, couples and polycules.

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Group Peer Support

Join a small group for bi-weekly drop-in sessions. The group offers advice and peer support.

It is an affordable and accessible way to get help when private sessions are not suitable.

It is free to try and payment by donation.
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Coaching Sessions

Keeping your individual identity and autonomy is important for healthy and sustainable relationships.
I can help you to manage jealousy, create healthy boundaries and communicate better with your partner/s.
My approach is inclusive of all orientations, genders and dynamics and is trauma-informed.

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Workshops and Talks

Sign-up to the next live workshop or check out pre-recorded webinars about relationship dynamics, jealousy, compersion and related topics.
More videos are added in the Webinars page on a regular basis.
Some are available for a small price, and many are free.
Donations are welcome.

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Latest articles

Audio: Roy appearing on the Open Late podcast with Jessica Esfandiary

(publish date: 15 March 2023) Speaking with Jessica about my journey as a latecomer to polyamory and going into the weeds of solo-polyamory. EPSIODE 84 “It’s important for people to start feeling comfortable feeling uncomfortable.” Jess interviews Roy Graff, a Relationship coach and Therapist from London who is also practicing Solo-polyamory. In this episode Roy …

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10 Tips for Maintaining a Healthy & Loving Relationship

1) Communicate openly and honestly with your partner 2) Practice active listening and try to understand your partner’s perspective 3) Show appreciation and gratitude towards your partner 4) Make time for eachother and prioritize your relationship 5) Practice forgiveness and work through conflicts and misunderstandings 6) Respect each other’s boundaries and needs 7) Nurture your …

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Is Polyamory an Orientation or an Adaptation?

Polyamory as a call to Self The exploration of alternative relationship dynamics beyond Monogamy has increased dramatically in Western societies in recent years. While Monogamy has been the default and traditional way of relating for romance and sex in modern history, there have throughout history, been people who challenged the norm and human evolution contains …

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