Roy Graff

Trainee Psychotherapist + Relationship and Life Coach

Conscious, autonomous relationships with an abundance mindset

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Why Open Relating?

Being raised on a diet of monogamous romantic fantasies, most people develop a mythological sense of what healthy relationships look like. Once we recognise love as separate from 'meeting needs', we are on our path to a better way of loving ourselves and others. We can design our relationships in any way that makes sense to us and our partners.

If what society says we should be doing feels unnatural, then do it differently. Nothing is 'default' or 'natural', except what feels natural to us. When there is an internal struggle, it is often because we inherit a set of values and expectations from our community, family and tribe that are at odds with what we feel inside.

Open Relating is about creating and maintaining conscious, connected and autonomous relationships, regardless of their dynamic and how many people are involved. Doing so requires first an honest unflinching look at our own vulnerabilities, fears, needs, wants and desires.

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Relationship Coaching

Relationship success looks different depending on who you are, what beliefs you have and how much autonomy you need. Together for ever after isn't always the best outcome. Moving in together isn't always the best outcome. Relationship success is personal and varied. I work with individuals, couples and polycules.

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Therapy

Are you looking for an extremely open minded, non judgmental therapist? One that is supportive and affirming lf all genders, orientations, sexualities and relationship dynamics? A therapist that has lived an unconventional life, taken risks and experienced extreme highs and lows? I am trained in Psychosynthesis Psychotherapy and seeing clients in person in London, UK. Some online therapy spaces are available.

Send me a message to inquire about therapy

The Coaching Club

Join a small group for weekly drop-in sessions.
The coaching club offers advice as well as peer support. It is an affordable and accessible way to have coaching when private sessions are not suitable.
It is free to try and payment is on a sliding scale which means you pay what you can.
Click to learn more and book.

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Coaching Sessions

Keeping your individual identity and autonomy is important for healthy and sustainable relationships.

I can help you to manage jealousy, create healthy boundaries and communicate better with your partner/s.
My approach is inclusive of all orientations, genders and dynamics and is trauma-informed.

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Workshops, videos and audio content

Sign-up to the next live workshop or check out my pre-recorded webinars about relationship dynamics, jealousy, compersion and related topics.
More videos are added in the Webinars page on a regular basis.
Some are available for a small price, and many are free.
Donations are welcome.

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Latest articles

Audio: Roy guest on the Secrets of Sex podcast

(published date: 3 August 2022) Speaking with Cassidy about the misconceptions of Polyamory in the mainstream mindset and how we can change that. From the episode description: Today I speak to Roy Graff, founder of openrelating.love & co-founder of Polyamory Day. Roy offers lived experience based therapy to his clients, he is also trained in …

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Seeking Balance

What does it mean ‘to seek balance’?

In the default, mono-normative relationship model, wanting a balanced relationship means both partners put in the effort and enjoy the rewards of the relationship equally. Clearly, balance is not inherent to relationships and is not always desirable to either partner. So long as there is a clear, consensual agreement between all parties, it is generally …

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The OPP Rule

The OPP rule

Or to make it gender-neutral, the O.G.P rule (one genital policy) To the uninitiated, here is what it means: A one penis/vagina policy refers to when a one or both people in a couple insist on an agreement that limits their partner in who they could have sex with. In heterosexual couples, it means my …

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