As a relationship coach and counsellor, I offer support and guidance to individuals and partnered people both online and in-person. I use a variety of methodologies I was trained with, along with my extensive lived experience as a multilingual and multicultural global citizen.
After a long career in marketing and business development in the tourism and retail sectors, working in large companies and as an entrepreneur, I have changed directions in 2021. The COVID-19 crisis prompted me to retrain for a new career in mental health and wellness.
This is what those who know me, say about me:
- Attentive and empathetic space holder
- Pragmatic, direct and analytical
- Focused on growth, empowerment and independence
- Accepting and affirming of gender, sex and relationship diversity
- Oriented towards system dynamics in relationships
- Has a good balance of gentleness and firmness
- Possesses the ability to apply skills across multiple disciplines
- Has a passion for mentoring and coaching
I offer coaching and counselling following the Psychosynthesis modality, and am accredited by NCPS. My support to you is based on lived experience, a great deal of self-experimentation, exploration, a range of educational courses and 7+ years of running workshops and facilitating groups. I have training in Radical Honesty, Non-violent Communication and Wheel of Consent.
All my recorded workshops and webinars are available. Many for free and some for a small fee.
I have lived adventurously and curiously and had a varied career in business development and marketing for over 20 years, living on different continents and collecting many life experiences. Over this time, I’ve lived in Europe, the Middle East, North America and Asia.
My first 20 years adulting were unconsciously monogamous by default. I was in several long term relationships including being married and becoming a father. Briefly (and ignorantly) I’ve experimented with an open marriage and long distance non-monogamy, which unsurprisingly, considering my lack of experience and knowledge, didn’t work out.
A personal and financial crisis in 2010, forced me to completely re-evaluate my life and values, attend therapy and dig deep inside for self-awareness and self-love.
Since a chance introduction to non-monogamy in 2014, I have identified as polyamorous, experiencing a wide variety of relationship dynamics in the spectra of multigamy. Assimilating knowledge from diverse sources and making many of my own mistakes, I’ve learnt a great deal over the past 10 years which I share with my clients in our sessions.
Since then, I’ve been giving talks, facilitating discussions and holding workshops about non-monogamy, sex positivity, consent and kink to audiences of up to 300 people. In the aftermath of the COVID-19 pandemic, these experiences also led me to train in psychotherapy. I can help with relationship issues, honesty and authenticity in relating, life transformation and major life crises.
Polyamory is my orientation, not a choice
In monogamy, I felt restricted (not through the fault of my partners, we didn’t even know of the option). I now know that when I feel free, I am the best version of myself and my partners also benefit from that.
The increasing complexity of human life means that expanding the options for human connection and intimacy can be seen as part of social evolution. In Western culture, at least, people have created a society that values individualism, and pushes us to seek happiness as an ideal.
What multigamy brings is a path to more intimate social connections that combines our individual needs with stronger social ties to community. Having the choice to explore deeper connections with more people can be seen as an evolutionary force.
This is not a suggestion that there is anything wrong with choosing monogamy. I support all and any consensual relationship dynamics and structures that bring enrichment and purpose to the individuals involved. The basic toolkit we all need for healthy, intimate, autonomous and boundaried relationships remains the same.
If you are based in London, I run a London-based non-monogamous men’s support group and moderate several Facebook groups related to sex positivity and polyamory.
Empower yourself with open, conscious communication and autonomous, connected relationships. Book an free with me today to embark on your journey of growth and transformation.
Read my latest blog articles
- Good questions to ask before going on a date, or on the first date, when you are multigamousIt’s a reality of dating life when practicing various forms of multigamy (non-monogamy) that not everyone can be assumed to practice with the same values, do so ethically or consensually, or have the same ethical framework as me. Sometimes we may both say we are polyamorous, but come at it from very different perspectives, life …
- Video: on the @nonconventional podcast – 20 JuneThis is a 27 minute long podcast interview with Ela from @nonconventional. Navigating the complexities of polyamorous relationships, Roy Graff shares his journey from monogamy to polyamory, shedding light on the emotional dynamics and the importance of communication. With a candid discussion on managing multiple partners and the misconceptions around polyamory, this video explores how …
- Polyamory can never work because…What follows are statements I’ve personally heard from people who have had something they really wanted to say about polyamory, even if they had never tried it or had wanted to. These criticisms mainly serve to show up a personal bias, ignorance or perhaps unresolved trauma. – “it’s just lack of commitment” Do all monogamous …
- Video: Milly & Nick @decolonizing.love and Roy @openrelating (IG Live): Commitment and attachment in polyamoryMy IG Live with @decolonizing.love, talking about commitment, attachment, hierarchy, couple’s privilege and masculinity in polyamory. We covered so much. Starts at the 2-minute mark. View this post on Instagram A post shared by Open Relating, expansive relationships coach (@openrelating)
- Audio: Interview (part 2) with Roy on the Normalising Non Monogamy PodcastPodcast release date 17 January 2024 From podcast description: Roy first came on the podcast with his partner Jessie back on episode 182 and now he’s back to give us an update and to dig into his personal journey a bit deeper. This episode stands on its own and afterwards you can go back and …
This song really resonates with me, I invite you to listen to the lyrics and enjoy.
