As a relationship coach and counsellor, I offer support and guidance to individuals and partnered people both online and in-person. I use a variety of methodologies I was trained with, along with my extensive lived experience as a multilingual and multicultural global citizen.
After a long career in marketing and business development in the tourism and retail sectors, working in large companies and as an entrepreneur, I have changed directions in 2021. The COVID-19 crisis prompted me to retrain for a new career in mental health and wellness.
This is what those who know me, say about me:
- Attentive and empathetic space holder
- Pragmatic, direct and analytical
- Focused on growth, empowerment and independence
- Accepting and affirming of gender, sex and relationship diversity
- Oriented towards system dynamics in relationships
- Has a good balance of gentleness and firmness
- Possesses the ability to apply skills across multiple disciplines
- Has a passion for mentoring and coaching
I offer coaching and counselling following the Psychosynthesis modality, and am registered with BACP. My support to you is based on lived experience, a great deal of self-experimentation, exploration, a range of educational courses and 7+ years of running workshops and facilitating groups. I have training in Radical Honesty, Non-violent Communication and Wheel of Consent.
All my recorded workshops and webinars are available. Many for free and some for a small fee.
I have lived adventurously and curiously and had a varied career in business development and marketing for over 20 years, living on different continents and collecting many life experiences. Over this time, I’ve lived in Europe, the Middle East, North America and Asia.
My first 20 years adulting were unconsciously monogamous by default. I was in several long term relationships including being married and becoming a father. Briefly (and ignorantly) I’ve experimented with an open marriage and long distance non-monogamy, which unsurprisingly, considering my lack of experience and knowledge, didn’t work out.
A personal and financial crisis in 2010, forced me to completely re-evaluate my life and values, attend therapy and dig deep inside for self-awareness and self-love.
Since a chance introduction to non-monogamy in 2014, I have identified as polyamorous, experiencing a wide variety of relationship dynamics in the spectra of multigamy. Assimilating knowledge from diverse sources and making many of my own mistakes, I’ve learnt a great deal over the past 10 years which I share with my clients in our sessions.
Since then, I’ve been giving talks, facilitating discussions and holding workshops about non-monogamy, sex positivity, consent and kink to audiences of up to 300 people. In the aftermath of the COVID-19 pandemic, these experiences also led me to train in psychotherapy. I can help with relationship issues, honesty and authenticity in relating, life transformation and major life crises.
Polyamory is my orientation, not a choice
In monogamy, I felt restricted (not through the fault of my partners, we didn’t even know of the option). I now know that when I feel free, I am the best version of myself and my partners also benefit from that.
The increasing complexity of human life means that expanding the options for human connection and intimacy can be seen as part of social evolution. In Western culture, at least, people have created a society that values individualism, and pushes us to seek happiness as an ideal.
What multigamy brings is a path to more intimate social connections that combines our individual needs with stronger social ties to community. Having the choice to explore deeper connections with more people can be seen as an evolutionary force.
This is not a suggestion that there is anything wrong with choosing monogamy. I support all and any consensual relationship dynamics and structures that bring enrichment and purpose to the individuals involved. The basic toolkit we all need for healthy, intimate, autonomous and boundaried relationships remains the same.
If you are based in London, I run a London-based non-monogamous men’s support group and moderate several Facebook groups related to sex positivity and polyamory.
Empower yourself with open, conscious communication and autonomous, connected relationships. Book an free with me today to embark on your journey of growth and transformation.
Read my latest blog articles
- Speaking at Expose, December 3-7I am really excited to be presenting at Expose 2026. A recording of all sessions will be available after the live event. Challenging relationships norms with polyamory and relationship anarchy 6 December, 2025 Click here to book for free! A healthy, fulfilling sex life brings joy, happiness and connection. EXPOSE will offer over 30 sexuality …
- Audio: Roy on the Modern Anarchy podcast with Dr. Nicole ThompsonPodcast release date 5 November 2025 Listen on the Modern Anarchy website On today’s episode, we have Roy Graff (he/him) join us for a conversation all about finding pleasure in expansive relating. Together we talk about the generations of lost orgasms, our unconscious cultural conditioning, and stepping into more touch support. 🧡 If you enjoyed …
- Solo-Polyamory Day 2025What is solo-polyamory? It is a custom-designed relationship dynamic that centres my relationship with myself. I am making a conscious decision not to seek out or work towards having a primary and/or nesting partner. Each person may practice solo-polyamory differently and the only constant is that you have a primary relationship with self. Materially, I …
- Audio: Roy on the Sexology Podcast with Dr. Nazanin MoaliPodcast release date 19 August 2025 Welcome to Episode 452 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I’m excited to be joined by Roy Graff who speaks to me about relationship anarchy, consensual non-monogamy, and the importance of communication in alternative relationship structures. In this episode, Roy shares his deeply personal journey from decades of serial monogamy to embracing …
- “Other than my nesting partner, I’m unsure about how to talk to my other partners about each other”Question My question is, how much do I disclose to other partners, so not my nesting partner, but other people that I see, some of which are quite casual. Some are more than casual. They know that I see other people, but they don’t know like how often or what those relationship types are, etc. …
This song really resonates with me, I invite you to listen to the lyrics and enjoy.
