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Boundaries

Why are boundaries so difficult to figure out?

In Polyamory, I talk about doing the work to own my emotions, self-regulate and find safety. I look to find security and happiness in myself first. I examine to what degrees I can meet my own needs, before looking to others to meet them. From this mindset, a boundary means to me something I create …

Speaking at Evolve Fest, December 3-7

I am so excited to be presenting at EVOLVE FEST, a 5-day GLOBAL online journey of love, transformation and togetherness! You can catch me delivering: From scarcity to abundance, a relationship mindset 7 Dec, 2021 Click here to book and quote code ROY25 for your discounted ticket. For one incredibly low ticket price you will …

What would a Poly-normative world look like?

I wanted to run a thought experiment: what would society look like if there was a complete paradigm shift, where monogamy was not the default option but instead, people would consider all relationship dynamics and choose the one right for them? Imagine that there wasn’t any focus on the 2-person dyad model of relationship ideal. …

Noticing red flags in alternative relationships

A red flag means the alert that goes off, when you notice someone is behaving in a way that raises questions about how they might behave in a relationship with you, or saying things that raise suspicion of later toxic behaviour. Most red flags are common to all relationship types and dynamics, be it monogamy …

The place between Love and Fear

How can we understand, unpack and process the emotions that we think of as jealousy? This article focuses on jealousy experienced as strong emotions and feelings. Click here to read about how our minds and thoughts influence our experience of jealousy. Our emotional response can be about socialised expectations but that does not mean that …

How lack of boundaries harmed me

If I ask you what your personal boundaries are, would you be able to tell me right away, without sinking into an existential crisis at the magnitude of the question? Until I discovered polyamory and spent a few years figuring it out, I never once stopped to think that I should have clearly defined, self-affirming …

Monogamyths - unlearning the default monogamous culture

Monogamyths – unlearning default monogamous culture

Unpacking learned social norms and expectations about relationships What do you remember from early childhood, about romantic relationships? How much of your parents’ relationship was visible to you? Their intimacy, the way they resolve conflict? Their sexuality? What was the message you were taught from society, the examples you have seen in books, TV and movies?  …