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What to think about when opening up a monogamous relationship

As a relationship coach, I regularly work with couples who come to me at various stages of their journey into multigamy* (non-monogamy) with challenges, seemingly impossible conflicts, resentment and triggered fears. It is rare to meet a couple that book to work with me immediately a the start of their opening-up exploration, but it does …

Interview with Roy on Sensuali.com

I was recently interviewed by Sensuali.com about my practice and my experience and beliefs around relationships. The interview in full is available on Sensuali.com. It is a community and resources for sex positive, shame-free support and services. They believe sexuality should be explored without shame or restrictions. Sensuali gives you the power to offer or …

Solo Polyamory Day interview

On September 24, Solo Polyamory day was celebrated I was one of several speakers who spent about half an hour chatting with Mel Cassidy about Solo Polyamory. The recorded talk is below and you can also go to her Youtube channel to watch the entire days’ recordings. Video

Roy on the Metro Smutdrop podcast (13 Sep)

(publish date: 13 September 2023) A pleasant and probing conversation with Miri. I think she asked good questions and got quite deep. My part starts at 5 minutes in. Episode 78 “We’re scribbling notes quickly because we have a relationship coach and counsellor on Smut Drop this week. Roy Graff offers counselling under the Psychosynthesis modality and …

The emotional and sexual connection spectra

The notion that people should just accept the socially normalised, traditional and restrictive way of relating and connecting romantically / sexually seems to me absurd. Just as absurd as it now is to expect everyone to be straight, just because this is how the majority identify, or to insist that people born left-handed must only …

welcoming abundance (video)

Roy speaking at the Temples of Eros social

The conscious sexuality community in London invited me to speak about Expansive Relationships. The recording of my short talk is below. It was followed by a lengthy Q&A session which I did not record, to preserve confidentiality. Open Relating is not, contrary to what some people ask me, about open relationships. Instead, it’s a path …

The OPP Rule

The OPP rule

Or to make it gender-neutral, the O.G.P rule (one genital policy) To the uninitiated, here is what it means: A one penis/vagina policy refers to when a one or both people in a couple insist on an agreement that limits their partner in who they could have sex with. In heterosexual couples, it means my …

Video/Audio: Roy and Leanne @polyphiliablog deep dive

I sat down for an hour long conversation with Leanne, a social media content creator who is an advocate for Polyamory on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. Subscribe to the entire podcast series of 14 episodes here. Polyamory challenges traditional love and many societal norms, but one aspect that is not often talked about is …