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welcoming abundance (video)

Roy speaking at the Temples of Eros social

The conscious sexuality community in London invited me to speak about Expansive Relationships. The recording of my short talk is below. It was followed by a lengthy Q&A session which I did not record, to preserve confidentiality. Open Relating is not, contrary to what some people ask me, about open relationships. Instead, it’s a path …

The OPP Rule

The OPP rule

Or to make it gender-neutral, the O.G.P rule (one genital policy) To the uninitiated, here is what it means: A one penis/vagina policy refers to when a one or both people in a couple insist on an agreement that limits their partner in who they could have sex with. In heterosexual couples, it means my …

Video/Audio: Roy and Leanne @polyphiliablog deep dive

I sat down for an hour long conversation with Leanne, a social media content creator who is an advocate for Polyamory on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. Subscribe to the entire podcast series of 14 episodes here. Polyamory challenges traditional love and many societal norms, but one aspect that is not often talked about is …

Unicorns and Dragons

What is a Unicorn? Why is it controversial?

Something that comes up loads in polyamory discussion threads, is the concept of the ‘Unicorn’. It is a hot topic that carries strong opinions and often draws the ire of many polyamorous communities. For newbies, most often, a ‘unicorn’ is thought of as a bisexual woman who joins an established heterosexual couple and is equally …

Noticing red flags in alternative relationships

A red flag means the alert that goes off, when you notice someone is behaving in a way that raises questions about how they might behave in a relationship with you, or saying things that raise suspicion of later toxic behaviour. Most red flags are common to all relationship types and dynamics, be it monogamy …

How lack of boundaries harmed me

If I ask you what your personal boundaries are, would you be able to tell me right away, without sinking into an existential crisis at the magnitude of the question? Until I discovered polyamory and spent a few years figuring it out, I never once stopped to think that I should have clearly defined, self-affirming …

Monogamyths - unlearning the default monogamous culture

Monogamyths – unlearning default monogamous culture

Unpacking learned social norms and expectations about relationships What do you remember from early childhood, about romantic relationships? How much of your parents’ relationship was visible to you? Their intimacy, the way they resolve conflict? Their sexuality? What was the message you were taught from society, the examples you have seen in books, TV and movies?  …

spectra wheel of emotional and sexual identities

The Spectra of emotional and sexual identity

The idea that people should accept the socially normalised way of relating romantically or sexually is as absurd as expecting them to be heterosexual just because that is how the majority are. In fact, what if everyone falls somewhere on a spectrum of sexuality, orientation, gender, capacity for and expression of love? The graphic representation …