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Boundaries

Why are boundaries so difficult to figure out?

In Polyamory, I talk about doing the work to own my emotions, self-regulate and find safety. I look to find security and happiness in myself first. I examine to what degrees I can meet my own needs, before looking to others to meet them. From this mindset, a boundary means to me something I create …

What is Couple’s Privilege?

How will society accept the philosophy behind polyamory, so long as couple’s privilege persists? What is it?Couple’s privilege is the largely unchallenged mainstream acceptance, of the inherent importance and supremacy of a dyad relationship (mostly exclusive and primarily between a woman and a man).Couple’s privilege is introduced to us throughout our lives from birth, through …

How can I self-regulate when my partner is on a date?

If you struggle emotionally when your partner is out on a date, here are some practical tips for self regulating when jealous feelings come up. This was a great topic of discussion in the recent Open Relating Coaching Club so I thought I will collect what we talked about and turn it into a short …

Jealousy part 4: Navigating our emotional landscape

Feelings are crucial data for us. We need to allow them to move through us. Not suppress, not explode, but channel them so we can observe and learn. What if rather than saying “I am jealous”, I choose to say “I am lacking something that is causing me insecurity”? This then paves the way to …

Video/Audio: Roy and Leanne @polyphiliablog deep dive

I sat down for an hour long conversation with Leanne, a social media content creator who is an advocate for Polyamory on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. Subscribe to the entire podcast series of 14 episodes here. Polyamory challenges traditional love and many societal norms, but one aspect that is not often talked about is …

Speaking at Evolve Fest, December 3-7

I am so excited to be presenting at EVOLVE FEST, a 5-day GLOBAL online journey of love, transformation and togetherness! You can catch me delivering: From scarcity to abundance, a relationship mindset 7 Dec, 2021 Click here to book and quote code ROY25 for your discounted ticket. For one incredibly low ticket price you will …

The Capitalist model of Romance

…the capitalist urge to get you to think of romance in terms of capital investment, finite resources and ‘growth’. Capitalism is defined by its reliance on the private sector to deliver what the market needs, urged by the profit motive. In theoretical, pure capitalism, the ‘invisible hand’ directs market actors to invest as needed in …

Video: Roy returning to the Practicing Polyamory podcast (6 October 2021)

Solo-polaymory, non-hierarchical polyamory or just dating around… What’s the difference? I return to the Practicing Polyamory podcast, available on Youtube and as an audio download. I will talk about my own solo-polyamory relationship dynamic and how it is often gets confused with non-hierarchical polyamory as well as ‘dating around’, ‘playing the field’, or not wanting …

“I don’t want to share you”

When your partner says they want to open up the relationship to date other people, and your response is ‘I can’t share you’, what’s really going on? It might sound strange to hear, when your feelings are so strongly indicating that this suggestion from your partner means you have to ‘share’ them, but – Sharing …