Relationship expectation setting (part 1/2)

Setting early expectations at the start of a relationship: a couple interviewed I sat down with a new-ish couple, Emma and Ryan (pseudonyms), for an interview about how they consciously approached the start of their relationship. Roy: Thank you both for being here. Why don’t you describe from your perspective, how you met or when …

Why am I polyamorous?

I wanted to share all the reasons that explain why I am polyamorous, or rather, why polyamory is the emotional connection style that best fits me. I’ve added contributions from other people at the bottom of this post. People come into polyamory at different life stages and for different reasons. Some take it slowly and …

The Spectra of emotional and sexual connection

The idea that people should accept the socially normalised way of relating romantically or sexually is as absurd as expecting them to be heterosexual just because that is how the majority are. In fact, what if everyone falls somewhere on a spectrum of sexuality, orientation, gender, capacity for and expression of love? The graphic representation …

How to understand our jealousy?

Do you believe jealousy is an integral part of human nature?  Or is it an emotional reaction to certain traumas, something that we can ultimately control? I believe it can be a little bit of both. This article looks at what jealousy is, how it is felt and what causes it. Jealousy can happen at …

Video: Jealousy in Polyamory

On 1st April I spoke on Instagram Live together with Manu @polyamory_awareness about what happens when we experience jealousy in polyamorous and open relationships. This is about a 1 hour talk where we discuss what triggers jealousy and how to handle these emotions. We take many, many questions from the viewers! You can also listen …

Multigamy – the what, how and why?

Over time, I have gradually become slightly annoyed with people using the terms monogamy (implied ethics and consent) and non-monogamy (implied unethical so must be prefixed with consensual- or ethical-), as two directly opposing relationship dynamics. I believe it’s time to upend this narrative, redefine the norm and see relationship dynamics as existing on a …

Why do we stay in toxic, high drama relationships?

I used to believe that relationships that included a lot of drama, with passionate fighting and then making up, were the most meaningful and deep.  I made myself stay in them despite the unhappiness of the emotional outbursts and fighting because I was filled up with love and passion when the fight ended and we …

The Wheel of Connection

The virtuous cycle of relationship communication and conscious connection The building blocks of an autonomous, conscious and connected relationship contribute to creating a healthy connection. This is important for any romantic relationship, and especially critical in multi-partnered (non-monogamous) relationships. Establishing trust is important but this is impacted by what the people involved have experienced in their …